Thoughts on an Inconceivable Redrom
by Midnight-Dino
Summary: You didn't think that hiding your feelings of pity for someone could be so hard. Until you become rivals, that is.
1. Prologue

Your name is Eridan Ampora.

And you are so, so, fucked. For one thing, you have so much pity for the little grubmuncher they call Sollux Captor. In the simplest terms, you are jacked tight into the worst kind of shit. From his messy hair down to his skinny little toes, all you want to do is cuddle the shit out of him. And just to add insult to injury, he wants your bloodpusher, still beating, on a platter. In a not so hot way.

No matter what you do, those feelings ain't going anywhere. Pity is the worst kind of sickness, to be honest. The more you try to forget about it, the more you keep remembering how nice his smile can be when he isn't looking at you. And how nice he smells. But let's not go there, shall we? You could be sitting there all day just thinking about how even the annoying things about him are adorable.

You think about how he wants you 6 feet under. It's kind of endearing, actually.

You think about how he stole Feferi right out of your grubby little fingers. Eh, she was getting annoying anyway.

To be honest, you don't know how what the hell could have happened for you to even LIKE Sollux. You thought that you had feelings for Feferi, but after confessing to her, it wasn't really all that it was cut out to be. Even after she left, you felt sort of like a weight was lifted from your shoulders (You still missed her, desperately, but that's besides the point). You wanted to crush him for that. Even if he didn't know about any flushed inclinations you had for him, you cursed his name every time you caught yourself staring at him from across the lab. Fucking landdweller.

So what do you do about it?

What do you think? Jack shit, of course.

You bury all of those idiotic flushed feelings under seven layers of faked hatred. You bitched at him, often for no reason, just to speak with the asshole. Though instead of actually fixing anything, it was more like rubbing salt in the wound. At least he hasn't noticed.

Occasionally, when he catches you looking at him with more than just a brief glance, your protein chute constricts painfully and your pathetic little aquatic based vascular system almost stops. A tiny little hope, under those layers and layers of lying to yourself, trudges with all its might. But you steadfastly ignore it, trying to rid yourself of the little love songs you have written that of course only have to do with your low-blooded young love.

It hurts.

It hurts a whole hell of a lot.

But when you manage to see his crooked, honest smile aimed to someone else, it somehow all seems worth it.


	2. The Blackest of Black

**A/N: Well, here is another chapter.  
><strong>**I don't think I will be updating daily, but I sure will try.  
>Thanks for all of the alerts and reviews. Means a lot! <strong>

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><p>I'm not desperate, like everyone makes me out to be.<p>

I'm perfectly content plotting everyone's death without anyone filling up any of my quadrants.

Until it comes to Sol, of course.

The fucking mustard-blooded bastard has me wrapped right around his thin and bony finger. But this has already been established, hasn't it? Every single thing Sol has managed to do to me only makes me more frustratingly red for him.

Let's look at the present, shall we?

It really isn't fair. What isn't fair, you ask?

The way Fef gets to cuddle up on that horn pile with that piece of shit. Even if the feelings for the lisping bag of douche out won out over hers, that doesn't mean the feelings for her didn't exist. They just couldn't compete, no matter how enraging that fact may be.

And boy is it fucking enraging.

I can't even tell who to be mad at. I send random curses and strings of complaints under my breath in their general direction, but I can't bring myself to point my finger at either of them.

Why does pity have to exist?

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><p>I'm pretty fucking sure that Eridan doesn't stop staring at me.<p>

And I'm pretty fucking sure it is getting on my nerves.

Yeah, sure. I stole his girl and all. But every time I turn around, the cape-douche is glowering at me. And I'm pretty sure he is hoping that if he stares at me long enough my head will cave in.

He's doing it again.

This time, I'm not letting it go. I stand up from this uncomfortable as fuck pile of horns, looking down at FF as she scrunches her eyebrows in confusion. I brush her gaze off, stomping towards the faggoty fish prince. His eyes are widened, probably in fucking shock that I realized his constant glaring at me.

I laugh coldly and turn his chair around. By now, most of the lab has turned to face us. It doesn't stop me. His eyebrows are pulled together in either confusion or disgust. Either way, I'm pissed to high heaven.

"Why the flying fuck are you alwayth thtaring at me, you thack of shit?" By now his face had smoothed out to a condescending smirk. Red and blue shocks of energy bursted around my eyes, sizzling around me. "Do you want to take thith black? Do you?" I barked, clenching my fists and scowling at him. FF had come beside me, already trying to auspistize. I pushed her back as she tried to pull me away from him.

"How-w desperate are you? Pathetic little landdw-weller. " I grabbed his stupid ass scarf, bunching it in my fist and hauling him to his feet. Even if I was slightly taller than him, he still managed to look down at me. He still refused to even fight back. "Go try somew-where else-" He didn't even get to finish his snarky remark before I reeled back and punched the hipster douche in the jaw. He stepped back, holding his face for a moment before looking up at me.

One part of me whispered: "What are you doing, Sollux?"  
>Another, louder part said: "Damn, that's hot."<p>

While I was just standing there, blanking out, he managed to saunter back up to me, the fins on his face spread wide threateningly. Before I could even realize, he socked me in the gut, my breath knocked out of me in a huge gush of air. I doubled over, hacking and coughing in an attempt to regain some air in my lungs. I chuckled, standing up straight and barreling over towards him again. I pulled his coat collars together, hauling him upwards to be level with my eyes. We both snarled at each other, growls ripping from our throats. I stared into his eyes for a moment—watching and unknown emotion flicker through his purple flecked eyes for a moment before settling into a deep hate. I hissed, wrinkling the fabric between my fingers before doing the one thing I never would have imagined me doing before in my life.

I kissed Eridan Ampora.

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><p>He kissed me.<p>

I think I could work with this.


	3. Maybe Not So Platonic

**A/N: Sorry for the delay! I'll try to update as quickly as possible. I hope this isn't too confusing with the point of view changes. If it is, just tell me, and I'll try to clarify more. Same thing with the speech. Sollux's lisp is a bit difficult sometimes. I just realized how long this fic is going to be. And sorry for any errors, I was distracted while I was writing. Stay tuned though, there will be fluff in the future. Otherwise, thanks for the alerts and reviews! Keep it up guys! **

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><p>What the fuck.<p>

No, seriously, what the fuck.

One moment I am just trying not to be overwhelmed from being nose to nose with the lowblood, and the next he is kissing me. I can barely even think, let alone try to either kiss back or push him away. So I settle on just hanging there like a limp fish. Eventually, the fucker sticking his tongue in my mouth is just going to storm off and wash his mouth out with soap.

Shit, okay. He is actually doing this. I raise my hands to his shoulders, digging my nails into his shoulder and neck. Not that I mind making out with him or anything, but it isn't very pleasant to be making out with black undertones in the middle of the lab. I growl, flexing my nails into his neck. Maybe it's the cursed fucking red I have for him, but I just can't break away from him. Finally getting the message, four eyes broke away, hissing. I push away the thoughts of regret and the nagging feeling to kiss him again, and show my teeth.

Hopefully it will happen again.

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><p>What did I even just do?<p>

Why would I kiss Eridan fucking Ampora of all people? I mean, I know I had black feelings for him, but I figured it was completely platonic. I growl in time with his hiss, and they both rise to a deafening level before evening out to an unpleasant hum. I glare at him, shoving him away from me and watching him stumble. For so much irritating ass bark, the seadweller really has no bite.

Wait, shit.

I look around, biting my lip sheepishly at the assorted glares and dirty looks I am receiving from everyone else in the room. I crinkle my eyebrows, shooting another glare at Eridan. This is his fault, for doing whatever the fuck he did to make me kiss him. And I still want to.

These feelings are totally black.

Even if they are not just platonic anymore.

I lunge towards him, grabbing his arm and forcefully dragging him away to the transportalizer. I can deal with everyone else later. The spluttering sack of fish dick that I'm taking with me seems eager enough. I'm sure he is just fucking begging for me to take him right now. Probably has at least two buckets with my name all over them. I step onto the pad, taking us both into the empty corridor, where I throw him onto the ground, a menacing growl rising to my throat yet again.

"Tho, what do you have to thay for youthelf? Better be fucking good." Cracking energy once again boils the air around me, fizzling in my ears. I watch him whine pathetically before looking up at me with a searing gaze.

"W-What the fuck are you ewen talkin' about? You kissed me." He stands, brushing off his cape and straightening his clothing. Clothing that I want off of him, regardless of how weird that sounds in my head. I fist my hands in my hair, walking over to him and pressing him against the wall behind us.

"I notithed, you athmuch. Just wondering how the fuck you got me of all people kithing your fucking fish fathe." I drag a nail across his collarbone, watching the purple flush rise beneath it. What kind of spell did this guy even put me under?

"I guess you finally realized that I am fuckin' irresistible." The highblood purrs, lifting one of his arms to dig his fingers in my forearm. I suck in a breath though my teeth, pressing closer to him. His quick breathing ghosts across my lips, only egging me on more. I let out a final huff of air before kissing him again.

What am I getting myself into?

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><p>I have a plan, I think.<p>

And it might be the death of me.

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><p><strong>AN: Just curious, but would you like smut or should I leave it out? I'll wait until I get a few answers first.**


	4. Sloppy Makeouts Ensue

**A/N: Wow, that took longer than necessary to type up. Sorry for the delay! I didn't have as many people checking it this time around, so make sure to tell me if you see any errors or inconsistencies. I'm just gonna disregard all of the people asking for smut and wait until the end of the story. /shades Keep in mind I haven't written this before, so sorry if it blatantly sucks.**

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><p>On normal circumstances, I would be all for stewing on my plans for a few hours.<p>

Right now, not so much.

I feel like Sollux is everywhere. In my head and all around me. I can barely keep a coherent thought in my head. I wonder how he became such an infuriatingly good kisser. My knees buckle, as he pushes me back against the wall, Trying and failing to keep up with the nipping teeth and sharp claws that are taking over my fucking think pan, I growl, but it only comes out as a needy goddamn whine. Way to be manly, Eridan. Way to be manly. My ringed fingers snake up his back, gripping into his hair and pulling.

Now that I think about it, this is going kind of fast.

Not that I mind, but maybe I should stop him?

Fuck it.

I succeed in growling this time, the deep rumble buzzing around both of us as we trade spit, bite, scratch, anything. Finally giving up on figuring this out, I wrap my leg around his knees, attempting not to come off as too desperate. No matter what people call me, I am not in any way yearning for a mustard bloods touch. Not in any way whatsoever. I don't even know what to do with myself as he deepens the kiss, pulling as close to me as possible and drinking me in. I couldn't stop the helpless keens building in my lungs, flowing out in little whimpers and hisses. There isn't much I can do. Not anymore, at least. The fucker clinging onto me already has the upper hand. I don't really have much of a problem with that, but it is a major hit to my pride.

That doesn't matter Ampora.

He is WILLINGLY kissing you.

Sometimes I think I should probably be a bit less self-pitying.

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><p>I'm still really fucking confused.<p>

I mean, I thought it was completely platonic, but as soon as he punches me in the gut, I'm totally down for sex?

Not that I mind, but maybe I should stop?

Fuck it.

I grind him against the wall, relishing in his quiet moans of pleasure and pain. I smirk sadistically into the kiss, slowly sliding my fingers up through his shirt. I map his mouth out with my tongue, lapping at his teeth and watching him become a goopy mess.

Stupid ED.

How is it possible to be both repulsive yet attractive?

While one of my hands slides along the gills along his ribcage, my other hand slips into those ridiculous striped pants. I grin wolfishly, breaking the kiss and moving to nibble on one of the fins still stretched wide. Just a bit of bite won't hurt.

How bad could I possibly be?

Hearing him gasp, I brush the flaps of skin framing his ribcage. I dip my fingers inside, chuckling darkly as he stiffens, holding his breath as I trail my mouth down further to bite into the crux of his neck and shoulder. Releasing my grip, I lick it once before moving to the other shoulder to give it the same treatment.

Woah, I didn't notice that this could be good.

I mean, it isn't like ED is ugly or anything, but I just never gave him the time of day. He is pretty much a jerk to everyone anyway. What's the point in that? Especially-

There goes that train of thought.

Capey over here is scraping his fingernails down my horns, sending tiny little shivers through my body. I bite my lip to stifle a surprised moan, using the hand down ED's pants to pull his hips into mine, grinding our growing bulges together.

We both cry out, and wow is it hot in this hallway.

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><p>My lip is bruised from me biting it, and my glasses are fogged up from the heat.<p>

Did I miss the lesson on how to be REALLY good at foreplay?

Because holy fucking shit.

Sol is breaking away now, unbuttoning both of our jeans before leaning back in for another fucking deep kiss. My hands descend down his back, leaving angry claw marks. Gripping his hips, I pull him closer to me, an extra layer of clothing subtracted from the equation.

Oh.

I suck in a breath, my nails digging into Sol's hips. He seems unaffected, the bastard. His thin fingers are dragging along my gills, making me harder and harder by the second. I gasp, reaching up and pushing him away for a moment. Jegus dicks. Blinking a few times to regain some fucking coherent thoughts, I watch his lips curl into a smirk.

"S-Sol, w-we should probably, uh." I swallow thickly, licking my lips. What did I need again?

"Bucket?" He coos flatly, no evidence of distress. Fucking bastard.


	5. Author's Note: I Return!

Hi guys!

Wow, it's been almost a year since I put this fic out. With the new influx of reviews and urgings to continue it, I have a newfound desire to finish!

I'm going to take the chapters that are already out there and rework them, and work towards making this fic better for all of you who had reviewed.

Chapters will be longer, and much less confusing, hopefully. I'm going to start tonight, in fact.

Thanks,

Gabriel


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